No, this isn't about my sibling or my husband's, or either of our families. This is kind of in line with the last post about gifts and husbands and wives. Isn't it funny how the holidays bring out the worst in families? Now the ranting on Ravelry is not just about whining about being surprised, but actual complaining about awful siblings, awful mother-in-laws, and just plain hatred of family. Now I'm not saying that these two ladies that I've linked to don't have a right to complain--both of their situations are truly unpleasant--but I especially find the sibling one interesting in light of this article on Slate.
Emily Yoffe (who writes the Dear Prudie column for Slate, which I love to read every week, and which has been dealing with a lot of family drama recently too) discusses how there isn't a lot of research on sibling relationships, but that that which there is highlights that it is and will always be a love/hate relationship. For as much as parents want their kids to get along, siblings to an extent need to fight and push and argue. Of course they need to also get over small hurts and remember their bond as siblings. Having siblings teaches us to cooperate and to fight. But problems arise when parents differentially (or not, according to the article) love the children, and when the kids get stereotyped into certain roles in the family that they then can't break out of without disrupting the roles of their siblings. The poster on Ravelry with the mean sister (the first link I had there) perfectly exemplifies this. She has a stereotyped role in the family (she even mentions her role in her post) and because she has taken steps in her life to change herself (which means changing that role), her sister is reacting in a way to make her feel bad, and essentially keep her in that role.
If there weren't already hundreds of people heaping pity on the woman, I'd chime in with "hey take a look at this article, it might make you feel better" because that would take a route of "yeah, your sister is being mean, but it might not be entirely under her conscious control" which goes against the current sentiment of "your sister is the devil and you are wonderful, we all love you." And so yet again, ranting induces a pity-fest instead of an academic analysis.
Ok, I'm a mega-nerd who constantly thinks about the world in terms of psychology. Shut up!!
Just to repeat, I think these rants are less whiny than the ones I discussed in the previous post. I just saw an interesting academic connection between the woman and her sister and the Slate article. For the woman with the mother-in-law who is trying to kill her with food she's allergic to, that just plain sucks. Though if I was more of a Freudian psychologist, I could go to town on that one...........