just lots and lots of work work work!

This weekend I attended the EPA conference. Despite some headaches (like my talk being removed from the program!!!!), it was an overall good conference (I gave my talk despite not being official). I listened to some very interesting talks and got some good stuff for class and research. I got to see lots of old friends and hang out and catch up.

Now I've just got to get through this week and then Spring Break (aka get caught up with life and work week!).

As work and stress pile on (you notice the less frequent blog posts?), my dreams often turn from weird and random to angry and frustrating. I don't keep a dream log, so I don't know definitely that there is a correlation, but I suspect that there is. The more stressed I feel, the angry my dreams. Often it is a dream about school/work in which I'm frustrated with a class and yelling at them, or a dream in which I'm frustrated with my family and yelling at them. My anger dreams involve a lot of frustration and a lot of yelling. I'm surprised I don't wake up hoarse!

When the stresses lessens, my dreams go back to being weird and random. Never too scary or emotional. Sometimes pleasantly nice, but most often the type that you wake up from with a "huh, that was bizarre" type of feeling.

Last night was a rare exception. I can't remember much of the details of the dream, but it was long, very long (possibly multiple dreams that got strung together). It started at a school in the gym, involved a lot of people and some type of problem to be solved, then it moved to travelling on a school bus, but there were treacherous obstacles, team work, people lost, then there was a trek through snowy suburban/rural areas, and finally of all the people involved, one guy and I made it to my parent's house. No one was home, but this guy and I went into the back yard where it was no longer snowy, but sunny and warm. This is the only part I really remember, we were relieved that we made it to safety, but sad about the people we lost along the way. Then I picked up some big paper on a string decoration (I can see it in my mind, but have no way to describe what it looks like). Suddenly, the wind picked up and I was lifted off the ground several feet as the decoration became like a kite. The guy grabbed the end so I wouldn't blow away, but I said to him that that wouldn't happen because this wasn't just the wind, but the spirits of the people we lost telling us that they were ok. (Very weird spiritual thing there.) But the best part of the dream was that as I was floating in the air (which felt awesome) there was this intense feeling of joy and bliss.

It is rare for me to have happy dreams and happy feelings in a dream. When I woke up (and I should have just got out of bed and started the day then because I felt so happy and rejuvenated... instead I went back to sleep for an hour and woke up tired and grumpy), I felt so happy and peaceful, and then sad because I wanted the feeling of bliss and floating again (which is probably why I tried to go back to sleep).

Anyway, I don't really know what the point of sharing all that is, but I wanted to record that dream because it was so nice at the end.

I ought to be writing this from upstate NY, not home. Kevin and I had plans of visiting his parents this weekend. We were going to leave after my last class on Thursday and hang out for the weekend. Instead, mother nature decided to drop a foot of snow on the area and trap us at home. It got bad enough that the cancelled afternoon and evening classes on Thursday (yeah for getting to go home early!!) and then closed school on Friday (didn't effect me).

So Kevin and I have been making the most of being stuck at home. Yesterday we shoveled (since the other residents of our building are too lazy and our landlord is too lazy). Then we took a walk up the street to the grocery store for some supplies (we pretended to be Les Stroud and filming an episode of Survivor Man). When we got home from the store, we played in the snow and created a snow monster named Borexx.

As we were finishing Borexx, a neighbor from down the street came running over with his camera and snapped some pictures. All evening we were watching out the window, and Kevin saw a lady walk by, stop and do a double take, and then start laughing. Borexx is a friendly snow monster.

Today we've been staying warm. I did some work and am going to knit in a few minutes. We did venture out to take a walk up to the jewelry store. Somehow I bent a prong on my engagement ring, so I needed to get that fix. Also, we'd never gotten my wedding band properly sized, so figured we get both done at once. Of course, they had to keep the rings (until Thursday!!!) so my finger feels all weird and naked. I'm worried that I'm going to wake up in the middle of the night and have panic attack about having lost my rings.

I downloaded this nifty little app on my iPhone that charts your sleep cycles for you throughout the night. You set the app to run before falling asleep and you place your phone on the bed near you (but not so close that you'd roll on it or knock it off the bed). As you sleep, the phone records your movements and generates your sleep cycle chart.

Of course this is just an approximation of your true sleep cycles. To get a real look at your sleep cycles, you'd have to be hooked up to an EEG to monitor your brainwaves. Then you'd really know when you are in stage 1, 2, 3, 4, or REM sleep.

The app by sensing your movements approximates the cycles, but is really more of an indication of if you are sleeping or awake. We actually don't spend very much time in deep sleep and as we get towards morning most of our time is in REM sleep, but the graph doesn't accurately illustrate those differences (again, because it isn't based on brain waves). The info with the app doesn't make it explicit, but when we are deeply asleep as well as during REM sleep we move very little. Multiple times per night as we come back up to the low stages of sleep we briefly wake up (this is when we shift around); many times we don't remember all of these little wake ups.

And so the app is measuring when you aren't moving around in bed and when you are. Thus the real information is a comparison of sleeping (what they call deep sleep) and the spikes into awake. I ignore the dreaming category on the graph because I dream A LOT and if that were truly picked up, the graph would be constantly in that realm. The designers seem to put dreaming near awake with the assumption that we'll be moving some when dreaming, more than deep sleep and less than awake. But that's not really true, the body is mostly paralyzed during dreams (mostly and there are exceptions) so that we don't act out our dreams.

Regardless of its inaccuracies, I like the app. I think it is a cool to look at in the morning and see a visual confirmation that indeed I was awake around 3am. It is also interesting to see that about an hour or so before the alarm goes off, I'm often restless (anticipation? dread?). Kevin downloaded the app and we're going to compare our sleep cycles to see how much we are disturbing each other (haha!!). We're also experimenting with his creating a little pocket on the side of the bed to hold the phone instead of laying to directly on the upper corner of the mattress.

This woman is exactly what's wrong with SUV drivers...

After getting herself into this position and flooring it for 15 minutes (I watched all this from my window), she realizes that her super-powerful-can-do-anything-drive-anywhere-I'm-better-than-you-SUV is stuck in half an inch of slushy snow. And her only tool (other than her car) is a snow brush.

Someone lady in a small car stopped and let her borrow a shovel that she had in her car, but the woman didn't know what to do with the shovel, so that guy in the picture who was just walking by was solicited to do the dirty work.

He dug out her tires as best he could. She got back in the SUV and floored it again spraying her two saviors with slush and dirt, fishtailed wildly, but got free. At least she was nice enough to offer the guy a ride to the bus stop.

Lady needs to learn that her SUV is not all powerful (indeed it only had front wheel drive), that she ought to own a shovel and how to use one, and that when you are stuck in the snow flooring it repeatedly is not going to work.

I really don't understand why people think that they are better drivers than everyone else on the road. This mentality manifests itself very strongly in the region that I am most frequently driving which is semi-urban, semi-suburban. This area makes people just forget that traffic rules apply to everyone equally. And just because the person in the car in front of you isn't vanishing to get out of your way doesn't mean that you can take matters into your own hands. Sometimes the car in front has a view of things that you don't and there is legitimate reason that they are stopped. This morning for example, there was a small back up to turn right at a t-intersection with a light because a bit farther down the road a tractor-trailer was trying to make a tight turn. When I'm the lead car in the line to turn right, there are two cars sitting in the intersection and no where for me to go except to make my own lane to the right of the cars in the intersection, which is technically a bus lane and would mean that I'd have to merge back in which would keep everything slowed up. So what does the guy in the car behind me do? Well, all he can see is me stopped and so he goes around me TO THE LEFT!!!!!! and then cuts back in front of me. I honked and yelled and honked some more. So the dude ended up three cars ahead of me and made it through one light that I had to wait at. I easily (without trying) caught up to him and he was apparently all in a rush to get to a gas station (and it isn't like he was soundly out of gas... he passed by several gas stations before turning into this one).

And this is not an unusual occurrence at this intersection. Most times it occurs while coming home at which point I'm in the left turn lane waiting for a chance to turn (uhm, obviously!). There are often cars coming in the opposite direction and people crossing the street, but apparently the people in the cars behind me can see more clearly than I can and so drive into on coming traffic on the left to make the turn before I do.

I know my eyesight is not bad; it is pretty darn good with my contacts in. And from having been the second or third car in line at these intersections waiting to make these turns, I know for a fact that you often can't see what the driver of the first car can see. I just know that one day some little kid or old person crossing the street is going to be killed because the person two cars back decides traffic rules don't apply to them and just goes for it.

I read somewhere once that people often consider themselves good drivers because they have a lot of near accidents that they have been able to avoid, and what these "good drivers" don't realize is that it was only a near accident situation because they were driving stupidly. If they had been following the rules, there would never have been a near accident in the first place!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's look at some pandas to feel less enraged...

I didn't know that pandas like to eat plastic crates!! I wonder if the zookeepers rubbed some peanut butter or something on them.

I try to be a good liberal-type and remain upbeat about taxes. Taxes are important and we should all pay our fair share. Taxes allow us to have safety. Without taxes, we'd have no police-people or fire-people. Taxes make life better. Without taxes, we'd have no public transportation, schools, parks, and more. Sure, some taxes go to things that are less than desirable, but not until we have a system in which we can dictate which programs to funnel our personal taxes to, we have to accept the bad with the very good.

My only real gripe is that apparently you have miscalculated my fair share for the past couple of years. In fact, this error keeps getting worse! Last year I owed a lot of money. This year I owe A LOT MORE money. I'm not saying that I paid enough already and it is unfair to owe. Rather, what I'd like is if you'd take the right amount in the first place. You see, a slightly smaller paycheck each month is easier to swallow than a HUMONGOUS payment. Thank goodness I calculated my taxes early this year so we should be able to come up with the payment before April 1, but in the future, please take a little more from each paycheck because at this rate we're going to reach a point (most likely next year) were making the payment will be a real hardship.

Now I'll own my own part in this. I'll admit that I don't understand your forms and codes. I did some research and have figured out how to avoid this problem for next year. It seems it basically involved my forcing you to take more of your money from me each month. I'm sure you don't mind the sudden in flux of money in April, but let's be a little better with both of our budgets and exchange this money on a more frequent, yet reasonable, basis.

Ok?

Thanks, gov't. Please also say "hi" to the Prez for me.

--K

Here are a few images that I took with my iPhone at work today. While the snow was very pretty hanging from all the trees, it does make everything slick and slippy, which I don't like.

I was disappointed that they didn't cancel classes, not even the evening ones. But I let my students go early because even at 5:30 it was still snowing pretty good.

I just got an email this morning from the Marketing Specialist at Book Whirl that they are very interested in promoting my book so that I can reach 10,000,000.

Wow! That's awesome.

One little problem... I don't have a book. The book that was listed in the email is written by a 42 year-old cancer survivor with the same name as me. About 3 minutes of Google research of the book title, I was able to find out enough about her to know that she's not me... not even close.

It seems that this marketing whiz didn't bother to contact the publisher to get the contact information for her, but rather just googled our shared name. When I googled my name (I admit it's been a while since I'd done so... I used to be buried under websites devoted to a soap opera character with the same name), I was shocked to see that I'm #4. The first result is a singer in Detriot, the second result is for a soap opera character, the third result is someone's myspace page (possibly the singer), and then there's my faculty page as #4. I'm also #6.

So I think that this guy googled the name found someone who seemed academic and emailed me thinking it was my book. Apparently didn't even read my faculty profile, which would have given him some clue that I wasn't who he was looking for.

I replied to him that he might want to do some more research because as far as I know I didn't write that book.

I wore Thea all day on Thursday. I'm happy to report that she fits perfectly and is extremely comfortable. Overall the sweater has a lightness to it; it isn't at all heavy or bulky. There was a wee bit of itchiness from the mohair, mostly on my arms, which made me glad that I didn't do the full sleeves.

Now let me warn you that these pictures of a glow and fuzziness to them. I apparently left my camera on a weird setting and this was the result. I may try for better pictures if I remember!!